Apparently the last time I wrote here, some time in August,
I was feeling outside of control.
In the preceding spring, that control was lost because I didn’t have boundaries set regarding my time,
and helped coach a youth soccer team with my brothers. I knew from the start that
it was not a good idea, it drained me completely, and my music ambitions suffered as a result.
People often ask how the music practice doesn’t burn me out, but if anything,
the music practice rejuvenates me. It feeds my soul. It’s the thing giving me meaning above most others.
Rather, it’s been my inability to set boundaries outside of practice that leads to my downfalls.
Khanyways, I managed to make it through soccer season with this music project on life support.
So like any smart person, I though, let’s start dating! And the fuck, I found someone who I really enjoyed
spending time with and found myself extending past the boundaries I was setting, and again, finding
that I was edging myself closer and closer to a burnout.
But I’m happy to announce that by this point I had matured enough to recognize some underlying issues,
and began to address them more earnestly than I had at any point in the past. I worked on understanding
where my emotions were coming from and how to recognize and speak to them (instead of running away
from them, ignoring them, or feeling ashamed by them). And I took a big step in finally addressing what my
issues with boundaries were, and have been investing the resources in order to build that bridge,
and build it really fucking good!
I’m feeling back in control. I’m feeling musical. I’m feeling me.
I’m feeling like I’m learning musically and personally, and that is one hell of a combination!
Fuck yea, boi!