Somehow, over the course of a few years,
I have constructed a music practice schedule that I follow to a T,
starting from a couple hours a day, to what is now nearly half the day.
When I’m within this schedule, time and stress is minimized.
What many people view as a ridiculous amount of practice,
typically feels short and inconsequential.
Why?
Because it’s such an entrenched routine at this point.
I just do it, and I typically enjoy it.
It’s exhausting in the best way possible.
Where I really continue to struggle is outside of practice time.
At times I feel lost and forget all the tools for discipline I’ve adopted.
I use food to eat away at and avoid what to use the rest of my time with.
I routinely find myself in front of digital screen letting an algorithm decide
how my attention will be divided instead of letting my own intention
guide me to meaningful sources of entertainment and relaxation.
ANYWAYS.
Why am I sharing all of this? There is a reason.
The reason is I’m done with all that.
I have been doing work on topics like boundary setting,
emotional literacy, mindfulness, understanding
addictive tendencies, healthy habits, and personal philosophy.
I have been learning about myself, opening myself up,
and preparing to do the work to create a person
I am really satisfied living with full-time.
That work won’t ever stop,
but that doesn’t mean I’m not ready to start applying
what I’ve learned and take action now.
I am as in control as I want to be.
I am doing this.